Funnies: Which Drink Are You?

Fed has just announced he is the new ambassador for Moet & Chandon, the champagne-maker that also announced their sponsorship of the Barclays WTF this year:

The photographs from the shoot were done by top fashion photographer Patrick Demarchelier, who specializes in capturing beautiful people in equally beautiful settings.

As we saw earlier with Rafa’s endorsement of Bacardi, tennis fans have questioned the logic of a top star endorsing an alcohol brand.  While the dangers of alcohol abuse and drunk driving can’t be denied, I also think it’s more prudent to advise caution.  And who better to endorse safe drinking than top stars like Fed or Rafa, who have both proven themselves to be upright individuals with sterling talent?

Anyhow, Fed and Rafa’s endorsement of Moet & Chandon and Bacardi made me think, which alcoholic drinks or cocktails would the top 10 players be?

This post led me to many different cooking/gourmet blogs, as I’m not familiar with drinks and cocktails.  Here’s what I came up with! (from players no. 1 to no. 10)

1) Novak Djokovic: Gluten-free schnapps.

Yes, it’s gluten-free.  Schnapps sound like a hard-core drink.  Like winning the Australian Open in a marathon final against Rafa.  Or coming back from a set and break down against DelPo at the WTF, to eventually win the entire thing and finish the year at no. 1.  You’re not kidding around if you order schnapps.

Photo: Getty

Tagline: Ajde Responsibly!


2) Roger Federer: Moët & Chandon

It’s slightly cruel that the WTF contenders this year had their photos taken with a mini-bottle of Moet & Chandon champagne — only for Fed to come out one month later with an advertising spread featuring him carrying a huge bottle of the same champagne:


Photo: Moet & Chandon

Plus, Fed’s photo was taken by the aforementioned Patrick Demarchelier, while DelPo (and others) were subjected to the unforgiving fluorescent flash that is beloved by major news outlets.

Still, as Moet & Chandon noted in their press release,

“Roger Federer, with his shining aura of big bold wins and elegant moves, is the absolute natural match for Moët & Chandon, the universal symbol of global success and eternal style.

Like Moët & Chandon, the worldwide sports and lifestyle icon Roger Federer radiates boldness, elegance and generosity, from the tennis court to the red carpet to giving back to the world community.”

Fed’s 7th Wimbledon victory was a highlight of the year, as he notched his 17th Slam win.  He returned to no. 1 long enough to break Pete Sampras’s record of most weeks spent at at the top.  He also won Indian Wells, Madrid and Cincinnati, in addition to a silver medal at the Olympics.  Despite his comparatively advanced years, 2012 proved to be yet another fulfilling chapter in the story of Fed’s career.

Tagline: Enjoy Responsibly!


3) Andy Murray: Lemon soda.

It’s “Lemon Soda O’Clock!”

Photo: Ella Ling

Photo: Ella Ling

Muzz’s breakthrough came at this year’s USO, where he won the title over Djokovic.  He realized his elusive Slam dream, after winning a gold medal at the Olympics.  It was a statement year for the Scot.  Sir Sean Connery (former James Bond) and Sir Alex Ferguson sat courtside in Flushing Meadows to watch Muzz’s breakthrough win.  The gold medal was nice, but the Slam was the icing on the cake, as everyone knows great cake has icing on it.  Muzz then celebrated by only drinking a $6 lemon soda, while his entourage racked up a bill upwards of $6,000.  I’m not sure Sean Connery would approve of Muzz’s drink choice, but it will have to do for now.

Tagline: Shaken, Not Stirred, Responsibly!


4) Rafael Nadal: Rafa’s Berry Smash


It’s been said before that Rafa’s groundstrokes don’t really resemble those of any former tennis legends.  In that sense, he’s his own tennis player.  I thought it’d be best to go with the unprecedented “Rafa Berry Smash,” which was his drink for the Bacardi campaign.  With its mix of strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, cranberries AND pomegranate juice, this cocktail smash is basically an anti-oxidant (every health editor’s) dream.  Here’s to a quick recovery for Rafa, who overcame the Djokovic wall this year, en route to an impressive victory at Roland Garros.

Tagline: Vamos Responsibly!


5) David Ferrer: Kir Royal and/or Tequila Sunrise


Photo: EFE

Ferru finished the 2012 season with the most victories (76) and the most title  wins (7), including his well-deserved Masters win.  At long last, the hard-working Ferru won his Masters in Paris.  That calls for a classy Parisian cocktail with champagne, and the Kir Royal is just that.  It’s not too strong either, which is another plus.

For those who don’t like Kir Royals, the Tequila Sunrise is another cocktail that pairs well with Ferru — simply because it means I can show this photo of him at Acapulco (plus, you’d be rude to refuse a second drink after the success Ferru’s had in 2012):

Ferrer 2012 acapulco

Tagline: Rafa, You’re Not the Only Champion Who Drinks/Wins Responsibly!


6) Tomas Berdych: Tequila, Gin and Vodka.

Screen shot 2012-12-02 at 7.33.30 PM

Photo: Karolina Brunstrom (If Stockholm Open)

Apparently, the TGV is an actual cocktail.  The TGV sounds a lot like Berdy’s game: the forehand is the tequila, the backhands are the gin and the serve is the vodka.  Each one is overpowering on its own.  But what happens when you combine all three in a glass?  How would that turn out?  Let’s take a look at Berdy: Throwing tantrums at the Australian Open because his opponent tagged him at the net, R1 loss at Wimbledon the next day, but the day after that he’s a world beater at the USO QF (until the wind stopped him against Muzz in the SF).  Who knows with Berdy?

If this TGV cocktail sounds like the potentially explosive creation it is, I recommend you chase it down with your choice of Czech beer!  (Please do not actually do this).

Tagline: Tag what?  Don’t You Dare Tag Me at the Net Responsibly!


7) Juan Martin del Potro: Piña Colada.

Photo: Getty

Photo: Getty

The piña colada is a severely underrated drink.  There’s a song about it.  It has all the necessary components for a great cocktail: coconut, pineapple juice and rum.  It fits DelPo’s calm, mild-mannered persona.  Lest anyone try to argue that the perfect piña colada is a coward’s drink, I would point out that it contains a potent ingredient: rum.  You know who drinks rum?

Pirates drink rum.  Even though Keira Knightley describes rum as a “vile drink,” I’d argue that the coconut and pineapple juice  balance out the vileness of rum.  Plus, Keira Knightley was drinking rum herself in Pirates of the Carribean (proving that Keira Knightley’s character is a complete hypocrite or a pirate herself, disguised as a damsel).

DelPo’s 2012 was marked by consistency and a few breakthrough performances.  Only 3 of his 17 losses in a 65-17 season came at the hands of players ranked below him (Baghdatis, Stepanek and Llodra).  DelPo defeated Novak to win bronze at the Olympics, after suffering a loss to Fed in the high-quality marathon of a SF.  On his 7th try this year, he finally defeated Fed to win Basel, before backing it up by defeating Fed again at the WTF RR.   Methinks Captain Jack Sparrow would approve.

Tagline: AARRR!! Responsibly, of course.


8) Jo-Wilfried Tsonga: Hot Toddy (“Now it’s time for a cup of tea.”)

Tsonga played one of the most exciting matches of the year against Djokovic at the Roland Garros QF.  He lost but his dazzling performance and his disappointment afterwards led to this quote, right before Wimbledon: “Now it’s time for a cup of tea.”

The hot toddy is a drink composed of whiskey, honey, lemon, hot water and your choice of tea.  It’s known for its restorative properties and is reportedly consumed as a “cure” for colds or sore throats.  Sounds just like what Tsonga ordered!

Tagline: Dance Dance, Responsibly!


9) Janko Tipsarevic: Zombie

Screen shot 2012-12-01 at 10.09.57 PM

Photo: Konstantin Datz

During the off-season, Tipsy has been enjoying his time and indulging in junk food.  He seems like the type who’d enjoy a very high-calorie cocktail.  The Zombie cocktail probably has more calories in it than a light meal.  Decadent (not necessarily in a good way, as it’s too much of everything): Tipsy is the Zombie.

Tagline: Super-size it Responsibly!


10) Richard Gasquet: Armagnac

We’ve reached the end of the list, as Reeshie is no. 10 this year.  He makes his return to the top 10 after 2007.  As many have noted, he’s had a quietly successful season this year, reaching the second week at all four Slams.  He also broke his title drought with a win in Bangkok, after winning a bronze medal in Olympic doubles with Julien Benneteau.

Gasquet Benneteau 2012 Olympics

The armagnac (a brandy) is the perfect match for Reeshie.  With its sweetly fragrant notes of wine from the grapes of France’s southwest region, the armagnac is often overshadowed by its more successful and sturdier sibling, the cognac.  The more I read about armagnac on its Wikipedia page, the more similarities I see between it and Reeshie.

Much like Reeshie, the Armagnac region in France was one of the first regions to start distilling grapes (Reeshie turned pro when he was 16 and he was a top 10 player at 21).  However, Reeshie was soon overtaken by the so-called Cognac players and he’s been playing catch-up for the past few years.  So it’s nice to see him back in the top 10!  Maybe the armagnac will stage a resurgence in 2013?

Tagline: Enchanté Responsable!


About mariposaxprs

I play favorites with Juan Martin Del Potro, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, David Ferrer, Feliciano Lopez, Gilles Simon and the long line of mercurial talent that drives me to despair in front of the screen at odd hours during the week.
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7 Responses to Funnies: Which Drink Are You?

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  4. Candy says:

    I miss you Mariposaaaa! 😀 How yaa? 🙂
    (Just to say hello and goodbye, in case the world is going to end today. You know I love you. Lol hahaha. :P)

    Wow! you know so much about alcoholic drinks/ cocktails?! Haha! Delpo plays Gonzo in Mendoza today (for us, tomorrow), so I would like to share this two bottles of wine (from Mendonza and Chile respectively Lol) with you(, Delpo and Gonzo) on this very last day of the world. 😛

    (btw, how was your Presidential Election Day? Just asking. 🙂 )

    • mariposaxprs says:

      Long time, no see!! How are you?! I hope you’ve been well and enjoying the off-season. Also, just in case the Mayans were a little bit inaccurate in their prediction of when exactly the world would end, and the world somehow ends later today, you know I love you too!! 😀

      Thank you for the bottles of wine!!! One day, we will have to have a party featuring Oreos, Cup Noodles, Mendoza & Chilean wine, cheesecake and much more (or we will recreate the healthier versions of those food items :D) So until then, we will be on a strict diet, yes? Hahaha. I am looking forward to the DelPo-Gonzo exho. Will do a short update featuring photos from the pressers, in a bit!!

      For Novak’s drink, I basically googled “gluten free alcohol”and schnapps was the first thing that I saw in my results. Then for DelPo, I had the pirate theme in mind from the start. I found Berdy’s drink while perusing the cooking blogs I landed on. It was a nice learning experience!

      I very much enjoyed Presidential Election Day, as I got a half-day for that, haha. Thanks for asking—the female candidate was a favorite heading in, so the result wasn’t that surprising!! I hope all is well in Hong Kong too!!

  5. Pingback: FedPotro Delights at Tigre & La Bombonera | mariposaxprs

  6. Pingback: Nadal News » Blog Archive » RafaLint: December 5th

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